It is Valentine\u2019s Day 2020 and I have long pondered what blog to write you on the occasion. When I prepared my TEDx last year, I realized that I use largely Western evidence to write for a Western audience. This also applies to my TED video, to be released soon. I have to recognize that some of this evidence does not apply to the wider globe. The degree of women\u2019s agency varies across countries, as does access to information and the presence or shape of democracy and the rule of law. For example. Not to mention social norms and traditions.<\/p>\n
With that in mind, I have written this blog as a little tour through the dating columns of the world. You will find that love is everywhere, while its form, and the priorities around it vary.<\/p>\n
Have fun!<\/p>\n
America<\/strong><\/p>\n Modern Love in the New York Times is a wonderful series. This one<\/a> proposes American husbands can be trained like dolphins and other wild animals. American wives too. (I shall try these tricks on a German husband soon.)<\/p>\n China<\/strong><\/p>\n China has a popular TV dating game show, Fei Cheng Wu Rao<\/em><\/a>, \u201cIf you are not serious, don\u2019t bother me.\u201d It involves quite a bit of conversation on stage, and interaction between groups of two genders to narrow down a choice. Rather than seeking lofty romance or high ideals, contestants do not shy away from materialistic pursuits. Famous quotes include \u201cI would rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.\u201d It went so far that Government intervened and ordered a psychologist chaperone to accompany the talk show host.<\/p>\n Egypt<\/strong><\/p>\n One of my favorite dating columnists of all times is Nehad Abolkomsan. She has a popular TV show \u2018Nehad\u2019s Stories\u2019 which gives advice to young women, often in matters of love and courtship. Her advice is quite evidence based and matter of fact. When you learn that Nehad\u2019s day job is that of a lawyer and chairwoman of the Egyptian Center for Women\u2019s Rights, you understand why her program focuses on empowering women, seeking to give them a voice, agency and confidence. Including and especially when negotiating the dating and marriage markets. Here<\/a> you can watch an episode, which is beautifully put in scene and focuses on how women should select their groom. She encourages looking for qualities suggesting that he would be supportive of a woman\u2019s ambition and slow to anger. She also promotes a longer than average engagement period, based on statistics that put Egyptian marriages concluded after a short engagement at high risk of divorce. Quoting a survey into the preferences of Egyptian women, she finds that 80% of young women care about the ethical values of the potential groom, followed by a distant 19% valuing family and lineage and 13% love and romance. The episode ends with an interview of a young woman from Upper Egypt who has defied odds and traditions to realize personal and professional success.<\/p>\n Germany<\/strong><\/p>\n The weekly Die Zeit<\/em> has a series on dating with the title \u2018It\u2019s Complicated<\/a>.\u2019 It loves<\/span> lives up to the stereotype that in the country of poets and philosophers, every puddle needs to have depth. The articles raise questions, reflect and explore with open endings, rather than advise or present complete personal stories. Popular topics include the pitfalls of online dating, aging and age differences, gender and social expectations and their reversal, as well as honesty and trust and their challenges, up to safety risks such as stalking. The common thread seems to be the question \u2018What If?\u2019 ranging from the light hearted \u2018What if your date blows on his coffee?\u2019 to several serious columns asking implicitly \u2018What if s\/he is the wrongest of them all?\u2019<\/p>\n Nigeria<\/strong><\/p>\n Efua Oyofo runs the blog \u2018Dating While Nigerian\u2019, which has now become a facebook page. I find it interesting that Efua is a labor and jobs professional, given that search and matching are relevant for both labor and marriage markets, and that several economic models apply to both. Her blog is quite forward, and an Economist article<\/a> featuring it suggests that Nigerian dating breaks a few Western rules.<\/p>\n I hope you enjoyed this brief tour and found some inspiration for your own Valentine\u2019s Day!<\/p>\n PS If your country has a popular dating column, please send me a link.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It is Valentine\u2019s Day 2020 and I have long pondered what blog to write you on the occasion. When I prepared my TEDx last year, I realized that I use largely Western evidence to write for a Western audience. This … Continue reading