The Power Thing

The  biblical “Wives submit to your husbands” is often interpreted as wives being encouraged to obey their husbands, i.e. to voluntarily assume a less powerful role in the relationship. Whether or not St. Paul actually meant this (contemporary scholars think he did not), it has been a dominant model of thinking in much of the world until recently. What is more, straying from this rule is sometimes seen as a driver of divorce or unhappy relationships.

Few things could be further from the truth. It is usually not a good idea to give anyone, husband or wife,  more power than the other.  It is now scientific: Power is likely to turn you into a hypocrite, and a cheat. Especially if that power comes with an entitlement.

A recent experiment showed that people in powerful positions who thought they deserved them started to judge others by high standards of morality, while they allowed themselves lower standards. While people without power tended to apply the same standards to others and themselves.

Interestingly however, people in power who doubted they deserved it, applied higher moral standards to themselves than to others. 

Projecting this onto relationships, the most likely conclusion would be to give the power to the person without entitlement –  historically, the wife.

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